When A Man Loves A Woman
by SukiHunny
Summary: Up to what extent can dear Ken-san be soooo dense? What if suddenly... his acknowledged 'young girl' or the 'young Miss' he would always lay down his life for, slowly becomes the 'woman' he never expects to be? Please read and review. ^_^
1. Default Chapter

**Standard Disclaimers Apply.**** Ruruoni Kenshin is not mine, never has been and will never be! Too harsh but that's the reality folks! @_@;;**

**            Let's test Kenshin Himura's ever-popular _denseness_. Up to what extent can he stay inside his 'shell' when his so-called Kaoru-dono, ever-respected and protected; put on the highest pedestal that he could, suddenly becomes the object of _his_ attention.**

**"When A Man Loves A Woman"**

****

Chapter One

            "Ahoy there, Kenshin!"

            Kenshin tipped from surprise; adjusting his hold on the wooden tofu basket, he turned around to see a smiling Yahiko approaching him.

            "Ohayou, Yahiko. Where are you going? You haven't got any work at the Akabeko today?" he said, continuing on his way with the boy.

            "Yeah, somethin' like that. Tae gave me a day-off today and I've got nothing much to do in my house so I thought I could drop by the dojo. Besides, its almost been a month since I went there. Is busu home?"

            The ruruoni smiled as he nodded. "Hai. I just left her to buy these," showing the tofu. "We're running out of it, especially now that I'm planning to cook something delicious tonight…"

            Yahiko's eyes widened with mischief. "Oi, don't tell me you're making your move on busu…finally," he said with a playful nudge. 

            The older man just smiled. Indeed, it has already been two years since he came to the dojo and yet, despite the rumors in town he has been hearing about his _relationship_ with Kamiya Kosaburou's only daughter, it seems that it only makes their situation 'awkward-er' than ever.

            He too had not figured out it yet clearly: since he has 'feelings' for the girl. Its been obvious even just from the angle of him laying down his life for already countless number of times for 'his woman', as Udou Jin'eh had called her, and he will continue to do so if the situation calls for it. For him, she will always be 'his Kaoru-dono'. A special lady… that requires exceptional treatment...

            _From him?_ Maybe.

            Kenshin sighed.

            The feeling _is_ there. The 'love'… the fondness… he knows it. But just what will it take him to admit blatantly (as Sanosuke—Kami protect him wherever part of the world he may be—had wanted to put it), openly and _boldly_ to everybody that he REALLY loves Kaoru?

            _Oro…_

            He could see from those scheming looks of hers, those eyes, like open windows telling him to his face all her feelings, her sentiments, her emotions; that she is not at all happy of the way their relationship is going.

            Since the day Sanosuke had 'ventured out into the world', Yahiko had moved out and lived apart from them. Everybody waited…

            …to no avail.

            Everybody in town could see them walking frequently together in the market. Everybody waited…

            …again, to no avail.

            Those quiet, after-dinner walks by the river. Everybody waited…

            …still the same as always: to no avail.

            Even Kenshin doesn't understand himself anymore. It has not been seldom he could here many people talking on his back about his 'dim-wittedness', 'ignorance' and even 'stupidity' for taking it too slow in 'making a move' on Kaoru.

            He knows that Kaoru would want to see more of him—what he feels inside—but he just _couldn't._ Its like something holds him back…

            _Tomoe-san?___

            Kenshin frowned at the thought. __

_            Not in the least now, de gozaru._

            Well, he means that THAT tragic chapter of his life had been finally over, and if not forgotten, cherished as a beautiful memory full of lessons that makes him more a man. But wait…

            _When was the last time I felt my heart flutter?_

_            When was the last time I laughed heartfully?_

_            When was the last time…?_

_            Am I getting really old now?_

            Kenshin grimaced and erased from his mind the thought. He then pictured himself fully wrinkled, with a cane in one hand (in place of the good 'ol Sakaba), lecturing Kaoru's suitors on the porch about how to please and take care of her…

            "Orororo…"

            "What was that Kenshin?"

            "H-huh? Nothing Yahiko. H-hey! We're here…" he changed the topic. Closing the gates behind Yahiko, when he was about to call out for Kaoru…

            "Kaoru-don—"

            "Sshh!" Yahiko had a finger on his mouth telling him to be silent. Thinking of what could have been the reason, he let his eyes roam around.

            There, leaning on the porch beam, sat Kaoru with her hands on a book, sleeping peacefully.

            Kenshin grinned inwardly at the sight. "Kaoru-dono. Always sleeping in the wrong places."

            "Why? Didn't she sleep last night?" the boy asked.

            "She did," he replied, carefully taking the book from her hand and giving it over to Yahiko. "Probably its her training at the other dojo this morning that exhausted her."

            "Poor busu," Yahiko commented. "Trying to earn as much when there's just the two of you here."

            "I already told her that. Though I'm not earning as much as she does, my work at the police station can provide for us enough. But you know her… she insists on working. She would always complain that staying inside the dojo for a whole day would just bore her."

            "She has a point there, Kenshin. But for how long are you two going to stay like this?" raising a hand to his mouth, "Oops! Gomen ne? I'm really getting too personal now, am I not?"

            Kenshin only glanced at the sleeping form in the porch. 

            _I also don't know Yahiko-chan… I also don't know…_

            Yahiko stayed in the dojo for dinner and then sped off to 'his' pad afterwards.

            _I hope Yahiko wouldn't get Sano's attitude of constantly freeloading, de gozaru yo._

            Kenshin was left to himself, humming, while he began to scrub briskly the used dishes when the door slid open.

            "Kenshin! Gomen! I left you to cook by yourself! Have you eaten already? Did you buy the tofu?" Kaoru worriedly asked, as Kenshin couldn't do anything but plaster his ruruoni smile to bite back his amusement, seeing her eyes still looking puffy from sleep.

            "Hai, hai, Kaoru-dono. Yahiko and I ate already. I thought you must've been tired from your classes this morning so I didn't purposely wake you up…"

            "Yahiko was here?"

            Kenshin nodded. "He just left a few minutes ago."

            The raccoon girl sighed and then pouted. "How sad. I hate to admit this but I kindda missed the rascal… you should've waken me up."

            "Gomen, Kaoru-dono. You slept at the porch so I assumed right then that you're really tired."

            Thinking for a second as she frowned. "I did?" she blushed. "T-then how did I get to m-my room?"

            "I carried you."

            "N-NANI?" Kaoru's face turned bright red now. Kenshin had carried her to her room for dozing off the porch for three times this week already.

            _What might he thinking right now of me? This has to stop!_

            "Kenshin-no—"

            "…"

            "… no—!" Kaoru paused, as if remembering something. "N-nothing. Forget it."

            The ruruoni frowned. _I'm sure she was to call me stupid again… _

 "Oro…"

            Kaoru could not raise her eyes. "Anou… what's for dinner?"

            Kenshin's frown doubled but he answered anyway. "I cooked some meat and vegetables…"

            "Aaa," was Kaoru's try to divert the topic. "Don't wash the dishes, I'll take care of it, I'll eat first."

            "Demo…"

            Without looking at him, with a waning tone, "Kenshinnn…?"

            "Let me help you at least, de gozaru…" he said smilingly.

            Kenshin watched Kaoru from under his bangs as he scrubbed off the thick soot of their stove. __

_            Something's really wrong… I can feel it_, he thought.

            She had been unusually quiet as she ate. Just last night they both enjoyed her stories, her 'adventures' of the whole day she was in the next dojo. She told him about friends that ran into her along the way; and her delight upon seeing that, she would say, 'perfect' fabric she dreams of buying for her kimono downtown and many more.

            But now? She's rather mum, as if concentrating on her every chew.

            _Did I do anything wrong? _

_            Was it my 'not waking her up' a while ago?_

_            Is the food bad?_

_            Or is it the smell of her evenly washed (by me)  kimono?     _

Kenshin stopped scrubbing. _Kaoru-dono's not a simpleton._

           _But what the heck's wrong with her? Or maybe…_

_            … with me?_

And that's what he intends to find out.

            **Please review. Thank you. – T.P.D.V**


	2. Chapter Two

**Standard Disclaimers Apply.**** Ruruoni Kenshin is not mine, never has been and will never be! Too harsh but that's the reality folks! @_@;;**

** Let's test Kenshin Himura's ever-popular _denseness_. Up to what extent can he stay inside his 'shell' when his so-called Kaoru-dono, ever-respected and protected; put on the highest pedestal that he could, suddenly becomes the object of _his_ attention.**

**            _Sorry for the long delay… this will be my last contribution in the meantime SukiHunny takes over from now. She got back from her long vacation now and before college life gets the better of her, she'll try her best to get back into writing shape. Thanks for the reviews. ~T.P.D.V _        **

"When A Man Loves A Woman" 

Chapter Two

The Next Morning… 

            'Quiet now… easy. You can do it Kaoru… now just a little more and you're there…' 

"Kaoru-dono…"

            'Sshh…' 

            "K-kaoru-dono…?"

            _'Be quiet! Or else Kenshin will catch you again…'_

            "…" 

            Kenshin smiled inwardly as Kaoru tiptoed slowly out of the room. He watched as she her eyes pried the place for any sign of _him_. When sure that she was quite alone, she slid the door open and took her sandals to wear them in another place far from there.

            The Ruruoni could not help but frown.

            This was the fifth time this had happened between him and Kaoru. It was a complete dèja vu for at almost exactly the same time he would catch her tiptoeing along the corridors, as if he would not notice. But of course, she thought she knew Kenshin that well enough.

            _I know even the slightest movement she makes in her bed… that I know if she had a good night's sleep or otherwise. What more if she leaves the dojo! Kaoru-no-baka…_

            The first time he had caught her was just the other day, when he had waken really early to do the laundry. He heard noises from her room, noises she would usually make when she dresses herself.

            'Is she going out?' He asked himself then. But what confused him more is her manner of taking off. Kenshin found himself hiding in one corner before Kaoru stepped out of her room.

            His brow arched upon seeing her tiptoeing in front of Yahiko's room…

            His brow arched even more upon seeing her tiptoeing much carefully in front of HIS room…

            Before she could even walk further, he stepped out of his hiding place.

            "Ohayou Kaoru-dono…!"

            "!!!"

            "Are you going somewhere?"

            Kaoru slowly turned around to see her Ruruoni smiling radiantly at her. Trying to elicit a nervous smile, she spoke.

            "O-ohayou Kenshin! Y-you're so early today!"

            The Ruruoni nodded, smiling even more seeing the worried face Kaoru is helping not to show. "Hai! I need to finish my laundry fast so I can help Yahiko fish later," he said. He thought of teasing her again. "May I know where you might be going Kaoru-dono? I can still do the laundry later so I can go with you—"

            "No!" Kaoru's eyes widened at her own reaction and clamped her mouth with both hands. "Uh… W-what I mean is, no… that's not necessary Kenshin! And who told you that I'd be leaving anyway?" she said, walking quickly way from him. "I'd be going to Tae, y-yes! But that's still later in the afternoon. See you in the kitchen!" And she was gone.

            Kenshin was left alone standing, with doubt and confusion growing at the back of his mind. And that triggered his morning 'paranoia', causing him to wake up earlier than what he does usually, finding Kaoru doing the same 'sneaking' out for about several times now.

            _Where could Kaoru-dono be possibly going to this time so early?_

            The market?

            _Demo… Sessha's the one who's assigned on that today. _

            Does she have sword classes today?

            _Iie. Sessha has asked her about that yesterday._

            Anou…__

            Sessha doesn't have any idea.

            Kenshin looked up the bright blue sky above him. Today was a rather splendid weather, perfect for him to do his most favorite chore of all time—laundry, no doubt. Shoving a stray hair off his face by his left arm, he tried not to do the last thing he just did a few minutes ago…

            Glance at the dojo gate.

            He inhaled deeply as he did so nevertheless. It was almost lunch, and Kaoru has not yet come back since early morning she sneaked out. Kenshin fought the urge to blame himself for not following her to where she might have gone.

            Kaoru-dono has the right to her own privacy, that she has.

            What if something happens to her?

            Like what?

            Like if she gets abducted by… Enishi, for example… Jin'eh… Shishio…

            They have been settled by and are taken cared by Sessha, remember?

            We may not know…            

            …

            …

            ???

            ???

            Alright, that does it.

            Kenshin rose and wiped his hands from a dry cloth nearby and went inside the house.

            This is not a good idea, that I feel it is.

            He continued to proceed to his room and opened a narrow, wooden chest. Upon opening and seeing its content, he smiled before even touching it.

            Hello there, my friend. Its been a long time since we've seen each other, hasn't it?

            He took out the sakkabattou from the chest and fidgeted it firmly. Eyeing it thoughtfully, he spoke to it again.

            "Gomen ne, for disturbing you again. But when talks of Kaoru's safety is concerned, I know you understand me quite well, don't you?"

            Taking out the sword from the scabbard, it gleamed brightly against the sunlight penetrating from the paper walls, as if agreeing to what Kenshin had said.

            "Oh! Ohayou Kenshin! What brings you here?" Tae's smiling face greeted him as he entered the Akabeko. "Have you taken breakfast already?"

            Kenshin bowed slightly to his and Kaoru's gracious friend/host before talking. "Iie, Tae-dono…arigatou. I was just wishing if I could talk to Kaoru for a moment. Is she here?"

            Tae frowned slightly. Much when she saw the thing dangling from Kenshin's side. The confusion suddenly turned to worry.

            "Does your sword has anything to do with your search for her Kenshin? Did something happened to her?"

            Kenshin's mouth quivered. "Is Kaoru not here?"

            "I'm afraid no. I have not seen her around since last week!" Tae said. The woman's eyes widened as Kenshin quickly turned around and headed for the door. "W-wait Kenshin! What re you going to do now?"

            Turning his face slightly, "Like what I always do when Kaoru's gone… turn Japan upside down to find her if I must."

            By mid-afternoon, Kenshin was already in the Tokyo outskirts. 

            "Excuse me ladies but, have you seen a girl of this height, blue-eyed with waist-length hair?" he asked two women coming down the road.

            The two eyed the striking man in front of them before the taller one shook her head then they continued on their way.

            Kenshin could only sigh from much toil and hopelessness. It will get dark soon and as minutes pass, his mind could only think of a thousand unpleasant thoughts of what might have happened to Kaoru.

            If something bad happens to her I swear, de gozaru na.

            He can feel himself reverting slowly to the person he once was. He knows Kaoru would not forgive him if he does something terrible, like to kill for example, even for her. She would not let him shed his blood for her again and again. But for times like these, he has no other choice.

            He had wished for Sanosuke's presence at that moment. He would know what to do, unlike him that forgets to think rationally once Kaoru gets troubled. Sano would know where to look for, for he has the means. He has contacts all over the city. He's not called Zanza for nothing, is he?

            Kaoru, where are you?

            "Those Dutch are really tall, ne?"

            Kenshin's musings were cut short by a conversation he heard from three men nearing his way.

            "And they sure pick the best looking women in town!"

            "Yeah, but I won't let my wife engage in any of their businesses, even if they really offer me a good deal of money…"

            Foreigners? Here in Tokyo?

            "I heard they recruit women and torture them before they be sold as prostitutes in other countries."

            "Is it really true then?"

            "That what?"

            "That they have strong backers in the government that's why they don't get caught?"

            "W-well, I don't know. What I'm sure of is that they are using that old magistrate edifice right across town…"

            "See? I'm so damn right…!"

            "One, two, three…one, two, three, one. One, two, three…one, two, three, one. Faster… faster!" 

            "But I can't take it anymore!"

            "C'mon now Kamiya! I know you can do more than that!"

            "It hurts!"

            "Go on!"

            Kaoru pouted at the man. Patience, Kaoru. I know you can do this. 

            Another man beside her spoke, "Are you alright? Do you want to continue this tomorrow instead?"

            Kaoru was fast enough to answer. "No, please. I can still do this. I'm saving tomorrow for my house chores. You know…" she said, smiling sheepishly.

            The tall foreigner smiled back. "You're one tough woman for your age."

            She nodded proudly. "Hai. Many says that I'am."

            "Then let's continue now," said the man, offering a hand to Kaoru. "I know you can attain your goal in less than a week. You're a fast learner, Ms. Kamiya."

            Kaoru only winked at the man. 

            "Shall we continue now, Rainier?"

            The man called as Rainier looked at Kaoru who approved. "Yes please. Uhm Leeuwens, could you make it slower? We're both having a hard time keeping up with the timing, you know."

            The other man just shrugged. "Positions."

            Kaoru clung knowingly to her partner and concentrated. She frowned as she heard a soft chuckle from the taller man who held her.

            "You look cute when you're serious."

            "Really now."

            "Alright, let's do the step again."

            The two started to tango their way around the spacious hall. Kaoru was deep in concentration as Leeuwens continued to monitor their steps.

            "One, two, three…one, two, three, one. One, two, three…one, two, three, one!"

            As the beat went faster, the two slowly became lost in their own reveries. Like each other's feet had its own mind, linking and connecting to the other.

            Kaoru began to feel sweat trickling down her back. The gown Rainier Schneider lent her began to feel uncomfortably heavy against her skin. Its ribbon at her back felt tight around her slender hips; as well as the tight sleeves that encircled her arms.

            The steps became faster…

            … and faster…

            … and faster.

            Kaoru could not hear the instructor Leeuwens' counting anymore. She was lost in her concentration. Deep in her thought she pictures herself dancing around in the arms of the only man she had ever loved.

            Kenshin…   


	3. Chapter Three

**Standard Disclaimers Apply.**** Ruruoni Kenshin is not mine, never has been and will never be! Too harsh but that's the reality folks! @_@;; **

**Let's test Kenshin Himura's ever-popular _denseness_. Up to what extent can he stay inside his 'shell' when his so-called Kaoru-dono, ever-respected and protected; put on the highest pedestal that he could, suddenly becomes the object of _his_ attention.**

       **Warmest greetings to all. I know I owe you all a bit explanation for my long absence. My cousin has been covering up for me while I was away. I just felt I needed to have this 'break' and it sure helped me to realize a lot in life. My vacation was indeed great and while I was there I missed writing… but then my folks told me I should take my time to recover since my Mom's demise. And now, I think I'm ready again, especially since I'm entering the university I have always liked to study in this June. Bear with me. ^.^ **

**Trey's Ind. Shout-Outs:**

Big thanks to: _Oyuki, venus smurf, Tan Kimiko, SVZ, LaTiNa-CiNnA, Arsenal, AnimeKrazy, Susy, cherrymecha, forbitten_.

_Lily Trindylle_: You have remembered Shneider from the animè, yes that's him. I'm in a shortage of character when I was writing that, but Suki will definitely take it from there now. Thank you for your critique, I'll try to do something with it. 

_Princess Sapphire_: Thank you so much. About 'gozaru', its just actually a Jap term Kenshin tends to attach at the end of almost all of his sentences, out of his old-fashioned sense of respect. I hope that is included in your RK 101 vocabulary now. Ja! ^.^

"**When A Man Loves A Woman"**

****

Chapter Three

       _This is the only old building I haven't checked out as far as I can remember._ Kenshin said as he approached its tall gate. A stout, tall man in unfamiliar clothes stood up from the corner where he sat as he saw the Ruruoni.

       Kenshin observed from under his bangs the long-standing structure in front of him before he spoke in a calm voice.

       "Ohayou, sir. But have you noticed a small, dark-haired woman pass by here?"

       The taller man frowned from the other side of the gate. Casting Kenshin an expressionless look, "No. I have not seen any woman here with that description."

       The ruruoni's lips quivered. _Its obvious he's lying to me._

       "Are you quite sure about it, kind sir?"

        The man glowered at Kenshin. "You go away from this place, understand? I have no time talking to a rat like you."

       _He has called me a rat, de gozaru yo._

        "I was asking you nicely, so I expect you answer me nicely too, sir." Kenshin darted back, looking directly at the man.

       "What?" the heavier man reacted. "Why the rat—!" he said, trying to open the gate. "When I get my hands on you—! H-huh?" 

       The _rat_ was gone.

       _"Kaoru, I didn't know your hands are softer when held long."_

_        Kaoru slowly tilted her head up to the face of the one who spoke. "There are so many things I still don't know about you… though we have been living together for quite long now."_

_       Kenshin's eyes penetrated into Kaoru's in a meaningful stare. Amber orbs danced in the depths of her eyes as a faint blush tainted her pale cheeks._

_       The music began to play sweetly around them; as if mimicking the emotions they share while holding each other close. Each note was endearing, relaxing… appealing. Soothing their tired hearts from much agony brought about by the past battles. Kaoru felt the sudden surge of memories flooding her head—she had her eyes shut firmly in rejection._

_       This was not concealed from the man who held her. His face was evident with worry as she saw two tears sliding down her ivory cheek._

_       "Kaoru, doushitano?"_

_       "Nothing… nothing…" Her sobs became audible by the second…_

       "Kaoru… Kaoru…" Rainier worriedly asked the crying woman. "Are you alright?" By this time, even Leeuwens was at their side.

       Kaoru's body shook with each sob she made. Her chest yanked heavily, face distraught in plain distress.

       "Nothing… nothing…" 

       _Nothing can help me with my problem with Kenshin. We've been together through a lot, and still he wouldn't open up himself to me…_

_       What can make him feel at peace…?_

_       O-or… there's none?_

_       Iie…_

_       I don't want to give up…_

"Kaoru…"

       She was surprised when she could not feel the stony hardness of the floor anymore, but the velvety softness of the sofa Leewens was sitting at while they danced a while ago. She opened her eyes and found Rainier sitting beside her with Leewens anxiously watching her. 

       Kaoru raised her eyes to meet Rainier's. He was smiling sweetly at her, handing her a white handkerchief. "Please don't cry anymore okay? Its distorting your beautiful face…"

       She frowned. There was no hindrance of sincerity in his voice.

       Kaoru's eyes fluttered slightly. Looking directly at the other man, "D-do you really mean that?"

       Rainier chuckled. "Of course," wiping off gently the wetness in Kaoru's face. The cloth trailed the ends of her eyes… the tip of her nose, and the plumpness of her cheek. Eyeing her tenderly, "You are the loveliest girl I have ever seen in along time, Kaoru. And don't let anybody tell you otherwise."

       Leeuwens smiled and winked at Kaoru, who blushed at his words. If he was lying, he holds no motive. They had just met the other day, who again accidentally had watched one of her self-pity monologues by the river and sworn she would be the most graceful girl on that side of Tokyo by the end of the month.

       His words calmed her.

       His words struck her.

       She wanted to believe him.

       But all she can see in his eyes was earnestness.    

       Honesty.

       Genuineness.

       Things she had been dying to hear from the only person she loves…

       … but she never did…

       _And never will._

       "Arigatou, Rainier-san. I'm so sorry for all the trouble…" Kaoru said as she tried to get up. Suddenly, a spell of nausea blurred her sight. 

"Kaoru!" Rainier was quick enough to catch her before she fell back to the sofa. "Kaoru? Kaoru, answer me!"

"Miss Kaoru!" Leeuwens hastily assisted Rainier. "I think she has been having a hard time breathing in those clothes."

"Then help me get her out of it," the man said as he quickly unknotted the lace of Kaoru's dress at her back but could not because it was too tightly made. 

Kaoru was getting bluer by the second; her face looked flushed due to lack of air.

"Why can't this thing go off?" Rainier was getting impatient. "Its too tight! Can't we do something?" 

Leeuwens hastened to get Rainier's knife from a table nearby. "Here. Cut the strings with this."

       Rainier pulled the knife from its case and carefully sliced the strings of Kaoru's dress one by one until he came to the last knot. 

Just a little more Kaoru… 

"Get your hands off her, you animal."

The two men suddenly looked at the direction from where the voice came. There was no denying the held back fury in it.

And there he was, the ex-hitokiri, glaring at them.

"W-who are you? How did you get in here?" Leeuwens asked the red-haired man.

Kenshin still stood there, his face void of any expression. "It doesn't matter. Hand her over to me quickly."

Rainier frowned with his cold entrance. _Who might this be?_ "I cannot give her to you, sir. You are in my house. She is my responsibility."

The ex-Hitokiri's eyes narrowed. He could see that the man's hand is still caressing Kaoru's limp body.

"If I were you, I'd ask no further. Give her to me so I'd spare your life." Kenshin's fingers fidgeted at the scabbard of his sword. This was not hidden from Rainier's prying eyes.

Looking once more at Kaoru's face, Rainier held her close. _If something happens to me I still hope you can find your happiness. I cannot give you up to this mad man without a fair fight._

Just then, Kaoru groaned. Uncomfortable sounds came out from her mouth. "Please… air… I need t-to… breathe…" was her whisper.

The foreigner had managed to shift her to his arms once again, attempting to cut the last remaining tight string that held her ribs tight…

Do I want to give up on you, Kenshin? 

_No… for that will only mean I do not love you._

_B-but…_

_… b-but…_

_I'm getting t-tired of all these games…_

_Your enduring self-pity is only breaking us… not keep us together like you make me feel._

_Are we really drifting apart?_

_Are we…?_

_I'm tired, Kenshin._

Really tired… 

Kaoru heard metal clashing around her. It sounded all too familiar.

With Jin'eh Udou…

… with Aoshi Shinomori in Kanryuu's mansion…

… Saitou Hajime at the dojo…  

       … Shishio Makoto…

       _Enishi Yukishiro…_

       "Stop!"

       And she was awake; hair disheveled, her dress half-torn—baring her ivory shoulders. A sight to behold for Himura Kenshin.

       She was alive—and well now. Her voice was like water washing his madness to kill the man that held her a while ago away.

       She was alive—and for the past years they had been together, it was this time that he truly admits to himself the real feelings he has kept hidden for this woman—the goddess—in front of him.

       She was alive—and will not be alone anymore. For he, Himura Kenshin, will take his formal place in her life from now on.

       Visions of her and him, finally together.

       Woe be to all those people who kept on pestering Kaoru for her alleged 'immorality' for now they will answer to him now…

       After this…

       After this…

       … things will be different.

       "Kaoru…" Kenshin almost said inaudibly. Dropping his sword on the ground, he ran to where his love stood still…

       He fought the urge to embrace her, to reassure her once more that everything will be all right.  Like what he always did during his previous fights.

       He held out his hand to her and brought out the calmest expression he could muster…

       But then, his head was turned slightly from the impact made by Kaoru's hand.

       She slapped him.

       _Kaoru… slapped me._

       _Why?_ His eyes questioned.

       Kaoru raised her gaze at the man she just slapped. With worn eyes, she felt her mind spinning again as she whispered the words quietly, but seemed like a bomb to Kenshin's ears:

       "I'm giving you up."


	4. Chapter Four

**Standard Disclaimers Apply.**** Ruruoni Kenshin is not mine, never has been and will never be! Too harsh but that's the reality folks! @_@;; **

**Let's test Kenshin Himura's ever-popular _denseness_. Up to what extent can he stay inside his 'shell' when his so-called Kaoru-dono, ever-respected and protected; put on the highest pedestal that he could, suddenly becomes the object of _his_ attention.**

       **_Good day to all…_**

**_       I know it's quite surprising for me to update after a long absence… I'm afraid every writer feels that he or she sometimes loses the right inspiration, even for things that he likes. And I think that has what had happened to me. School, friends and life in general had been hard for me these past months so… for a while then I've been pondering on some things but I guess what's important is that I'm back right? =) But for the long delay, my apologies. Thank you for all who has reviewed this while I was away… the continuous and overwhelming support you have given this fic has been my 'alarm'… you know who you are. Warmest thanks._******

"**When A Man Loves A Woman"**

****

Chapter Four

_Previously on the last chapter…_

_       Kaoru, again in a fit of 'self-pity' due to her non-developing relationship with Kenshin, had left the dojo by herself and went about her plans in learning how to dance from a European gentleman by the name of Ranier who holds his office at an old magistrate building with his assistant Leeuwens._

_       Learning the truth from Tae that she has not been really dropping by the Akabeko, Kenshin almost frantically searches for Kaoru, with a final and certain decision in his mind and heart, that he will finally do what is 'right' for both of them. But as he finds Kaoru, who is 'helpless' against the arms of the foreigner whom he has mistakenly thought of as harming her, he unleashes the Battousai inside him yet again—only to hear from the woman he loves a rejection he never had imagined she would ever say… _

_       "I'm giving you up."_

       The setting sun had been so beautiful that afternoon; it had a pale yellowish color that mixes against the darkness that bade to arrive in an hour or so. The dusk chilling wind has made its rounds around town, as if it holds yet news about that day—sad and empty.

       Kenshin eyed Kaoru walking ahead of him from under his bangs, she being quiet the whole moment they had been walking together from the Dutch office.

       He let out a long sigh; he knew his wrong. His recklessness always gets the better of him—but inside he still has a proud bearing that says that if it is meant for Kaoru's safety he would do it over and over again.

       However…

       _I'm giving you up…_

       Her words kept on ringing in Kenshin's ears. 

Repeated. 

Overstressed.

_What could Kaoru-dono have meant by that?_

"By Kami, Kaoru-chan!" Tae's tearful voice echoed the Dojo's hall as she embraced the smaller woman who preceded Kenshin in entering. "A-are you alright?"

Kaoru's eyes listlessly glanced around before she spoke.

"I'm okay, Tae-chan… sorry for the worry I've caused you. I'm tired… I'd like to rest now…" she said as she motioned emotionlessly towards the direction of her room.

Tae looked at her departing friend as she left. She glanced at Kenshin who met her with downcast eyes.

"D-doushitano Kenshin?"

"Iie… Tae-dono," he replied without looking at her still. "Kaoru-dono must have been really… tired."

"You're telling me that nothing's happened… and yet your hands are bleeding," Tae pressed. "What happened Kenshin? Why is Kaoru like that?"

"I tell you Tae-dono, nothing bad have happened… that nothing h-had," Kenshin's voice almost cracked with emotion.

Tae felt incredulous. "I don't believe you. Come with me and let us treat your wound. You may have dinner too… Tsubame had cooked for you two while you were still out."

"A-arigatou, Tae-san…"

"Don't thank me yet, you still have many things to explain to me…"

"Oh my."

Was Tae's sole expression after hearing the story. 

Kenshin was now quiet, fidgeting on the folds of his hakama.

"I-I don't know what to say Kenshin. But I can say that Kaoru-chan must have been very hurt by what you've done…"

"D-do you think that she is, Tae-dono?"

Tae nodded slowly.

"W-what should I do t-then…?"

Tae thought for a while. "I think you should let her be, Kenshin. Just for now. We don't know what's in her mind right now but, I think it would be best if you would apologize to her…"

"… that I would really do, de gozaru na."

"Hai. Then all would be fine after."

"Kedo… Tae-dono…"

"Nani…?"

"D-do you think she will forgive sessha?"

 Tae let out a small smile. "Of course. Kaoru never holds a grudge on others… how much more on you."

"A-are you sure about that?" Kenshin hesitantly asked.

"Hai… don't worry about that much. And now you must rest Kenshin. We've all had a busy day," Said Tae, standing up. "I'll send Tsubame tomorrow, I'm afraid no one will cook here. Neh?"

"Sorry to cause you all the trouble, Tae-dono… that I'am," said a worn-out Kenshin.  

"Iie… no problem…"

Kenshin is still in deep thought as he trekked the road back to the dojo after walking Tsubame and Tae to the Akabeko.

       _"I'm giving you up."_

The sound of Kaoru's earlier words still echoes in his mind. Of course he doesn't have the audacity to tell Tae everything that has happened; much more the reason why Kaoru had slapped him was because of his stupid and irrational action.

_"I'm giving you up."_

Kenshin felt his cheek; the cheek that Kaoru had hurt. It doesn't have the mild swell anymore, but deep in his heart was the ache he feels will never heal.

_What does Kaoru mean by that? _

_It was a typical thing for me to do and Kaoru knows it._

_But why does it feel so different this time…?_

Kenshin felt a sharp pain in his heart… a feeling he thought of by then now had he mastered—but he did not. Many times he had felt the same feeling—over and over. Most especially over the thought of Kaoru…

He was aware of his shortcomings—the pain he causes her. And throughout the pain, only one thing could be the remedy: her smile. 

He doesn't know of anything that can make him feel calm other than Kaoru's serene face. Her bright eyes that seems to dance as she smiles; her lips that moves his heart to skip a beat whenever she pouts in disdain…

_Am I dreaming…?_

Kenshin stopped walking as he realized the place he is at the moment and closed hi eyes…

_This place…_

_… the fireflies._

Kenshin… He's late… 

Kenshin steps out of the darkness behind her.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru called him but as she sees his expression, her smile fades.

"Where's Yahiko?" he said, not minding the concern in her voice.

Kaoru stammered. "O-oh… well, he got tired waiting up for you so he just slept."

"I see."

There was silence between them.

"K-kenshin…?" 

"Minister Okubo was killed this morning…"

"H-hai… I read from the papers…" Kaoru hesitated to continue.

"The real killer was one of Shishio's disciples. I cannot just let Shishio get away with this, thus… I'm going to Kyoto."

There was silence once again. The leaves were dancing around them as Kaoru tried to appease herself from trembling inside.

Finally, she spoke. "Are you going there to… to… a-assassinate this Shishio Makoto?"

Kenshin let out a long sigh before talking. His speech hardly buckled as he felt his emotions overcoming his senses. "Iie… but… to that I'm not sure. If I had remained the way I am now, when I first heard that I have needed to face my predecessor, I would have fought until I have defeated him. In the fight with Saitou, I have already returned to Battousai… While I was here, I felt I was turned to an ordinary swordsman… and my heart was glad. But my fight with him made me to realize it. The innermost part of my heart has not changed… the madness of the Hitokiri Battousai is still inside me…"

Kaoru was indignant. Clapping her hands on his shoulders, she pleaded. "N-no… you came back! No matter how close you were to Battousai, you are still Kenshin! The fight with Saitou with Jin'eh were both the same… S-so it's all right…"

Kenshin shook his head. "Iie… with Udou Jin'eh, I chose to became Battousai so that I can save you, and your voice brought me back. But with Saitou, I became Battousai only for the sake of the fight. That's why your voice couldn't even reach me…"

_Those times have begun again._

Kaoru was speechless. Dropping her gaze to avoid Kenshin's, he continued to speak. "When I first met you… though you knew I was Hitokiri Battousai, you kept me from wandering. You said that you don't care about a person's past and I was very happy…"

Kaoru's hands were trembling. "You…"

"… If I stay here any longer, you as well as the others will be in danger everytime I become Battousai…" 

"… To the government and to Shishio's group, to all those people who bears a grudge against the Hitokiri Battousai, HE is all that I am…"

"… that is why I cannot allow myself to stay here…" He said, walking up towards Kaoru and embracing her tight, suddenly. 

N-no… 

"… Arigatou for everything you've done to me… and sayonara. Remember that I am a vagabond; I will wander once again…"

N-no… 

Kenshin lets her go. Tears starts to form in Kaoru's eyes.

"K-ken… shin…"

       _I can't… I can't!_

"Kenshin!"

With that last vision, Kenshin opened his eyes and felt the soft night breeze around him… as if comforting him for the saddest memory he has recalled. He began to compare that moment from the present he is. 

_It was way too dark, not unlike at that time…_

_The river was flowing robustly, making loud noises…_

_The fireflies were all around… _

"K-kenshinnn… Ken-shinnn…"

_I can still hear her cry up to now…_

_…even if I was already far from her I can still hear her._

_It will never happen again… that I'm sure, de gozaru yo._

_Kaoru will never cry from now on…_

_To heal myself, I need her smile…_

_I need her… in my life… because…_

_… I love her._

"H-huh?"

Kenshin's eyes pryed the Dojo walls; it has something to it that he felt different.

_Did I leave the gate open?_

He quietly looked around the darkened place. Checking the temple, the backyard and the front porch for any sign of a raid, his heart quickly sank as he quickly remembers the person peacefully sleeping inside.

_Kaoru-dono._

Half running and walking along the halls, he went straight towards the direction of her room. Frowning slightly upon seeing that she had yet forgot to put out her lamp before sleeping, he observed silently if she indeed had been resting before deciding to put out the light by himself.  

Kenshin listened intently from outside Kaoru's room. But what was different was that his heart which continues to race inside him defers him hearing her quiet breathing.

_Kenshin no baka, how will I be able to know if she's already asleep?_

Seeing no success in remaining there to listen, Kenshin finally resolved to enter and just think of the lamp as a proper excuse in case Kaoru awakens.

_Here goes nothing…_

"G-gomen ne… K-kaoru-dono…?"

Upon sliding the shoji door open, he found the room empty.

Her futon was neatly folded, as if it was not been used for any matter. The lamp was at the center of the room, now weak from oil deficiency.

Kenshin's brow knotted. He would know if Kaoru had been out for a walk…

_Out this late?_

He fought the urge to go out and look for her but the earlier incident with the Dutch had stopped him from doing so.

_She'd be alright… Sessha must learn to know that Kaoru-dono is not to be treated like a baby…_

_…she has a right to her own privacy, that she has._

_I will just have to wait for her then._

Kenshin sat quietly at the Dojo porch. Half-asleep, he rose and walked inside the house and looked at the old clock.

_Its already past midnight, de gozaru na._

_If its just one of her walks she should have been here earlier than now._

_But I don't want to look for her, she might get angrier with me more if I do._

The Ruruoni found himself treading back to Kaoru's room.

Sitting beside her bed, he thought to himself, "I don't care if ever Kaoru-don—_Kaoru_ would find me here…"

"…I will not hold my feelings back anymore anyway, that I will… h-huh?"

Under the lamp was a piece of paper.

Kenshin sighed at the mixed emotions he was feeling upon seeing it.

With a trembling hand, he carefully opened the letter and recognized Kaoru's thin but fine handwriting…

It read:

Kenshin

       By the time you have read this I'm probably long away from the Dojo now… Hai, I have left. Its just that I feel this is the best for me since there are things that I must first understand about myself and to find myself, I must do this on my own. If you're thinking of going after me—don't. I will hate you with my life if you will not let me do this alone. 

       You don't have to worry about me, I will be alright.

Onegai… respect my decision. But if you have decided on things already without me, I will understand wholeheartedly.

Arigatou.

Kaoru

**_There ya go… tell me what you think. I understand some of my own MS Word customizations were not reflected when I have posted it and I don't know how I can fix it so I guess I cant do anything about it… @_@;; Gomen ne? But if you want its original form just email me and I'll send it to you for added reading pleasure. Thanks!!! _**


End file.
